


Time and Time Again

by TheStarrySkiesOfPalaven



Series: And I Will Give You Rest [2]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Gift Exchange, Introspection, POV Second Person, i guess you could call this a character study? idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 04:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17036537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStarrySkiesOfPalaven/pseuds/TheStarrySkiesOfPalaven
Summary: It's November 2016, and Max is tired.She tries, though.She tries so hard.





	Time and Time Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shadokin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadokin/gifts).



> written for the lis gift exchange 2018 on tumblr for @earthenterran/shadokin!! i'm ur secret santa terran!! <33 i hope u like it!! lov u buddy
> 
> (part of the same continuity as tomorrow will be kinder, set a year after it, but can be read standalone)

You wait.

And wait.

Your bed's comfort does little to help.

You get up and start pacing aimlessly around the room, trying to find something to distract yourself with, but nothing jumps out.

The mirror on the wall, though... you see your reflection in it as your gaze roams around, and notice just how absolutely exhausted you currently look.

The urge rises again; the urge to get just a few hours to _fix things_ \-- just a few! A bit more sleep, bit more time to get yourself in order; no big deal, right?

But... you resist.

You've gotten good at that.

The clock on the bookshelf ticks away, as if to mock you.

You stick your tongue out at it, feeling unexpectedly peeved.

It just ticks more.

Half an hour passes and you start fidgeting again.

Waiting was never your strong suit ( _thank_ you, adhd, you're a _real pal_ ), and knowing Chloe and Rachel are coming back from their trip has you both excited and antsy because _why aren't they here yet_?

You want cuddles.

It feels childish to think about it like that but you miss them _so_ much and you just want cuddles _right now_.

The clock continues ticking.

You raise your right hand and look at its perfectly ordinary handness.

You can't count the times you've been tempted to do it again this month alone.

You also can't count the times you almost gave in.

But no. You don't want to.

Not anymore.

You promised yourself you wouldn't.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

You need some air.

* * *

 

If there's one thing that's great about living in Portland is that you don't have to plan a trip to Powell's anymore; you can just walk there in less than half an hour now.

The City of Books never fails to help calm you.

You browse the shelves aimlessly, letting them take you to each of their worlds, away from the one where your brain is being a petty asshole.

Of course, it doesn't take long until you get to the section you always eventually get to.

_"Science Fiction"_

And of course time travel is there, being innocuous and _fantastical_ and out-of-this-world... as one does.

Unless one's name is Max Caulfield, apparently.

You could probably recite the entirety of this section by heart with how many times you looked for _some_ sort of answer for the past three years.

Answers you still lack to this day.

You sigh, resting your head against one of the shelves for a bit.

You've pretty much resigned yourself to never knowing what happened that week. Your 'powers' are still there, being tempting and terrifying.

Were they always within you? Did _something_ happen to suddenly give them to you? Or did _someone_ give them?

Honestly, the implications of any of those being true are disturbing as _fuck_.

Still, you _are_ glad they appeared when they did, given... given what was going to happen.

Now if only they could kindly stop giving you existential crises on a monthly basis, thank you very much!

Assholes.

A moment later you let out a self-deprecating chuckle. Not for the first time, you think that the three of you could probably single-handedly keep your therapist in business.

You look at your watch and sigh.

Time to go back.

You hope you're not too late to welcome your girlfriends home.

* * *

 

Turns out you _are_ , in fact, late to welcoming your girlfriends home.

Late enough for them to set up an ambush for you as you enter the apartment, each kissing one cheek as they envelop you into a giant hug and lift you up as you walk through the door.

"Awwww lookie what we have here!" Chloe says, letting out the fakest gasp you've _ever_ heard. "A wild Max appears! She uses Overwhelming Cuteness!"

"And it's _super effective_!" Rachel says, pretending to swoon.

You squirm in their embrace and laugh with so much joy you think you'll burst. "Put me down, you dorks!"

They, of course, don't let you down until all three of you are on the couch, trying not to get knotted in a tangle of limbs as you settle into a content cuddle pile.

 _God_ , you missed them so much.

"Missed you," Rachel says quietly, her face buried in your hair.

Chloe hums her agreement. "Been a weird two weeks without you."

You squeeze them tighter. "Same."

You fall into a comfortable silence for the next ten minutes, and it's only when your meds alarm goes off that you resignedly start getting up.

"So... you gonna let me see the trip photos any time soon?" you say as you go and reach up for your bottle on the shelf.

"Mmmm... I don't think you've filled up our affection meter enough for that yet, Max." Rachel says with a little grin.

You roll your eyes, smiling, and go back over and give them both yet more loud kisses on the cheek.

Chloe pretends to think about it. "Hmm... I _guess_ you get a pass. C'mere, nerd," she says as she takes out her phone and opens up the photos folder.

You three spend the next hour looking over the various actually decently taken photos and gasping and laughing and reminiscing and as Chloe's bragging about flustering Rachel with just a single plastic straw at hand, you can't stop laughing because you're so _happy_.

You look at the photos more and you feel... you feel like something clicks.

You haven't thought about time or powers or anything in over an hour.

Even with the photos, once conduits for more advanced time fuckery, all you can think about is how happy you are and how happy your girlfriends are and--

It kinda hits you all at once.

This is what you're living for.

The dimples on Rachel's face as she smiles in the California sun, Chloe's beanie being pulled over her face again as she laughs at a stupid pun, a palm tree leaf being blown in front of the camera just at the right time to obscure Chloe and Rachel's attempts at handstands, the time you called them on discord and they looked so windblown that their hair was sticking out like Sonic and you laughed _so hard_...

You live for this.

Not for the past, but the present... and the future.

The past informs the other two. It shapes them, but does not control them.

The control of the past was something you never asked for, and spent so long fighting with... but only now you fully, consciously realize that you _don't need your powers_.

Maybe there was some part of you that was terrified to ever give them up because you feared the future, and the world that awaited years later as you grew.

Maybe you were a bit too relieved at the idea of with being able to navigate social interactions without always feeling trapped and uncomfortable.

Maybe it was just anxiety being an asshole.

But you fully, for the first time in years, realize you're OK with things.

Maybe you won't ever get rid of the impulse to use them, or just wonder _what if_ but... you live a better life than you did before. The loves of your life are living better lives than they did before.

For the first time in three years, you know that you wouldn't change a single thing about your current life.

For the first time in three years, you can say you look forward to whatever comes nex--

"...Max? Max!"

You blink, startled, and find Rachel and Chloe looking slightly concerned.

"You spaced out there, hun. Everything ok?" Rachel says.

You smile the biggest smile you think you've smiled in years.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Just thinking..."

"About what?"

"I don't know, I'm just... happy, I guess."

They smile those soft, _special_ little smiles that tell you they understand _exactly_ what you mean.

You resume looking over the precious memories in your hands, and relax into their embrace.

For the first time in three years, you feel _free_.


End file.
